Snap the fuck out of it. NOW!

You are better than this, you have been better than this. Believe in yourself. You are a good person, and you deserve good things. I know you think that you’re lfe sucks, but it doesn’t. Yes, you don’t have everything that you want but you do have so much good, and really little bad. It seems as if that bad is self-created also.

Just please, this is a plea to myself… be better, be happy, stop making your life miserable.

–Anne

Today was not a banner day in the food intake department, but I did get to the gym to calibrate my new Nike+. Not only did I surprise myself by easily calibrating it for running. I honestly didn’t think I was going to be able to run the whole 1/4 mile for the calibration (so sad). Alas, I did it, and easily.

After calibrating for walking and running, I ran another mile. So I did a total of 1.5 miles. Not a lot to some, but for me it was a begining. The amount I ran made me super happy also.

So here is my run for the day from Nike+

Wish me luck… foolz.

I got my hair done today, and it looks fab but the whole time I was in the chair, staring at myself in the mirror, all I could see was my big ol’ double chin. It’s back with a vengeance, and it is making me sad. I have been eating and drinking myself silly since I got laid off back in december and I have the pounds to show for it. I was already at my highest weight in over 3 yrs, and now I’m even heavier than that. My clothes feel gross, I feel gross.

Thankfully yesterday I found out that I got a new job, and with this new job I want change… in every aspect of my life. I want to be a runner, or at least run consistantly. I don’t want to be fat any more. I want to be one of those skinny runner girls. Yeah, maybe not realistic, but it’s motivation.

I’m gonna start adding my running to my entries, as well as food.

Good thing I’m starting this off right by going out and drinking tonight…. argghhh!!!

Note to self: You can’t buy any more groceries because obviously you can’t have food around you without you shoving into your face at all hours.

Argghh… After coming home from Santa Barbara for Thanksgiving I was ready to see the scale go up by 10 lbs, thankfully it did not. Since I have been home though, it’s been non-stop eating. I get home from work and start shoving my face. I even had the desire to go to the gym last night but something made me stay home. So I sat around in my gym clothes drinking wine and eating one thing after the other.

I just need to work out or have a good couple of days and everything will get back on track. Of course it’s coming to the weekend though and I’ll probably be drinking. I should take a class at 24, a hard core one. Or maybe go on a long, long hike this weekend. There are such beautiful places around me and I haven’t done that in awhile.

Here’s to getting back on track! Again…

Wow, I have been majorly slacking with updating this blog. It’s been a busy couple of weeks and I haven’t really been eating well or living a healthy lifestyle. Too much drink. Although, some parts were super fun, so I shouldn’t be too down on myself. Plus, somehow through it all I lost a pound. I still feel super fat though. Like gross fat. Boo! Hopefully this week I’m going to get back into working out. I have to since Thanksgiving is this week and I want to enjoy myself.

Here’s my food so far today. I made yummy pancakes w/ skim milk and eggbeaters. I poured on the sugar-free syrup. So good!

I am a big, fat slacker.

I have a date tonight. Hope to update tomorrow w/ details.

The end.

Argghh…. Why do I do this to myself? Another bad day, another bad week and I can’t seem to snap out of it. I don’t eat oreos, I don’t drink beer on weekdays but all of a sudden I find myself doing things like that; things I would normally not do. And now I find myself 10 pounds heavier and gaining. While I’m in the moment, eating oreos and drinking beer, I am berating myself but I continue to eat… continue to stuff my face.  I know it’s emotional eating, and I want it to stop but I don’t know how to stop it.

Gym going has been sparse… it’s been a few days. I hope to get back on the horse today, maybe that will snap me out of my funk.

I am just not in a happy place. I miss my happy place.

OMG! I Feel sick. I just ate soo much crap. I don’t know what is wrong with me, why I continually sabotage any effort to lose weight or get healthy.

I feel like shit and now I’m sad and I don’t know what to do, but I do know I want to stop doing this shit. Even as I type that I am thinking that I don’t know if I can. Why is this such a hard struggle? Why do I reach for the oreos, or the beer, aaahhhhh!

I’m too sad to type… I’m going to bed.

Ugghhh… too many starbursts.  I can’t stop eating in celebration of the Obama victory. That sounded stupid. Oh well, I’m delirious… too much sugar.

;

;

Crash

YES WE CAN!

It’s been a busy, busy day at work. The SEMA show is going on in Vegas so lots of content. Right now there is a nice lull.. but I’m just waiting for the shit storm. Plus the election is happening. Arrggh… stress is not my friend

Didn’t take any pictures today of food cause I was busy and my mind was elsewhere. I enjoyed the usual oatmeal in the morning, some snacky poos in the afternoon, and a yummy salad from togos for lunch. Also munched on some halloween candy. boo.

Election Day was today. After working myself into a ball of nerves checking yahoo and CNN every 2 sec to get early results I went to Taco Tuesday with Mike, Andy, and Susan. It wasn’t soon after that we found out that Barack Obama would be the next president of the U.S. SO HAPPY! I am finally hopeful that our President will be able to make a change, to turn this country towards the light, towards hope, towards a better time. Like he said in his speech, there is a lot to do, it is a steep climb and everyone needs to band together to make this country something we know we are all capable of being, a UNITED NATION!

Even though I am so happy Obama won, I am soooo sad that prop 8 passed. How can anyone be behind something that is so discriminatory. The bigotry in the US and California astounds me. So very sad.

While watching all the election coverage I munched on some tacos and drank some beer. I was going to try to avoid this but I was so in the election spirit. I think I ended up eating two tacos, and had 3 beers. Not horrible.

Unfortunately when Susan and I got home I had some mint chip ice cream on a waffle. It was damn good, but I didn’t need to do that. I am learning that beer really lowers my inhibitions and makes me eat a TON! Not good.

Back in the swing of things tomorrow.

Obama’s Speech Transcript